The Holiday ‘Silly Season’ – What is it and how do we cope?

Kathleen McDowell Money Coach, Advisor & Investor, Founder of Live Richly

Embrace your inner Grinch this holiday! These ‘Silly Season’ survival strategies will help you make this holiday one you won’t need a holiday to recover from!

When I first moved to Australia from the US many years ago, I was I knew I was in for quite an adventure. The move involved not only a change in scenery and lifestyle, but also an interesting linguistic transition, particularly in terms of learning new Australian slang. From the moment I arrived in November of 1999, I was bombarded with a number of interesting and perplexing examples of Aussie slang.

As my initial weeks passed, and the calendar flipped over to December, things really got interesting as I embarked on my first Silly Season. In Australia and a few other countries, the end of year period is known as ‘The Silly Season’. But why?

Most dictionaries define it as the period over summer, when governments are on vacation.  During this time, there is a slowdown of serious news stories, which has journalists filling up their columns with stories of alien abductions, commando sheep, cuddle party crazes and more.

silly season \SIL-ee-SEE-zun\ noun. 1 : a period (such as late summer) when the mass media often focus on trivial or frivolous matters for lack of major news stories.

But my personal favorite interpretation comes from the second entry

2 : a period marked by frivolous, outlandish, or illogical activity or behavior. –

You NAILED IT with this one, in Merriam-Webster! This just about sums up every December holiday party I attended in Sydney in my 30’s.

There is no denying that Silly Season is event time.  In countries like Australia, New Zealand and South Africa – the silly season has come to refer to the Christmas/New Year festive period on account of the higher than usual number of social engagements where the consumption of alcohol is typical.

Even in my prime, when I was properly conditioned to follow up a night of festivities with another, I needed a smart coping strategy to survive Silly Season. After all, I was still an American, a mere amateur alongside Aussies who had trained for this season for years.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the spirit of the holiday, decorating the tree, and enjoying the soft glow of the lights and listening to Christmas music.

But at some point in the past, Christmas was super-sized and the high-pressure, multi-sensory, commercialized holiday onslaught doesn’t do it for me.

Signs You’re Not Coping

Your body is rushing on adrenaline as you push to keep all the balls in the air, simply trying to focus on getting through your Christmas check-list.  How do you know if you’re at risk for Holiday Burnout?

You feel resentful towards your boss, your spouse, your kids, party-throwing friends, basically – everyone, especially the frickin’ Elf and his relentless demand for a new vantage point every single night

• Changes in appetite (for me, this is eating half the holiday treats before I gift them, and then having to bake more cookies or run back to the store to re-buy the teacher’s sweet treats)
• Difficulty sleeping (staying up too late raging at the TV, begging the successful woman in tonight’s Hallmark movie NOT to quit her successful career just to move back to her home town and settle down with her high school sweetheart who now owns a Christmas tree farm!)
• Emotionally numb or detached (could care less what shelf the elf is on. I gave up this charade a few years ago when darling daughter noted “how come the elf never moves after you and Daddy have a big night out?”)
• Pressured to buy presents you can’t afford for people and you haven’t a clue about what they need or want – teachers, bosses, neighbors, cleaners, staff, in-laws….

All of this leads to loss of interest in holiday activities that once sparked joy and excitement. This is when you have to give yourself permission to be a Grinch!

Silly Season Coping Strategy 1

A survival strategy I started back in my 30’s, that still works today, was to only accept every other party invitation, essentially cutting my festivities in half, and doubling my chance of survival. The last 2 years I actually turned down 100% of them. With my batteries recharged, this year I’m back on the circuit.

But 25 years have passed since my initiation into Aussie holiday party culture, and a lot has changed. I got married (to an Aussie), had a child and really slowed down. My lapses in memory come more from old age now than from over-imbibing. So as I have slooooowed down, I have had to add a few more survival strategies to my bag of tricks.

I have had to basically and unapologetically, embrace my inner Grinch!

Silly Season Coping Strategy 2

Throw away the cultural expectations of the season (easier said than done). Be brave, and stand your ground when being accused of being a Grinch.

• Don’t start getting in the spirit until Dec 1. Play the long game, ignore the insane suggestions from retailers starting Nov 1. Give Thanksgiving it’s proper due. I don’t know how people who leap frog from Halloween to Christmas can have any spirit left by the end of December.
• Say NO to gift giving (I make exceptions for teachers as they’re superheroes and deserve everything they get and more). Seriously, everyone else doesn’t need whatever you were going to get them and will be thankful for the pass on having to reciprocate. Saves you having to experience anxiety of crowded malls (just order gift cards for the teachers), and the financial stress of overspending.
• Don’t host any holiday parties. No planning, shopping or prepping. Instead, plan a holiday lunch or dinner out with your friends and let someone else cook and clean. Have a White Elephant exchange if you must but have everyone bring something they already have at home (likely someone’s unused gift from a prior holiday), to add a bit of laughter.
• Don’t attend any holiday parties you don’t want to. Skip the work party, block party, school party and any other party that you don’t want to attend. Simply say “it’s a busy season and sadly, you’re double booked”. Then sit home and curl up with a good book or movie. I have done this for years now and have zero regrets.
• Don’t send Christmas cards. No one reads them as if they’ve been following you on facebook so what are you going to say that they don’t already know? They just end up in the garbage. Waste of your time and our resources.
• Don’t apologize or make excuses. Be proud when confronted. If someone says, “Hey! Where are the gingerbread cookies? We can’t have this holiday without your gingerbread cookies!” that’s your cue to say, “Well, let’s try”. Just smile and declare, “I decided not to stress myself out this year. I wanted to focus on being together with friends and family.”
• Do a family experience with your kids, in lieu of presents. Have them complete a treasure hunt to find the “gift”. Let them get one present from Santa.
• Resist the urge to install giant inflatable Santa and his reindeer in your front yard. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation was a parody – you’re not actually supposed to decorate your yard like the Griswolds. Over the last 20 years we somehow went from peaceful twinkly lights to bigger, louder, tackier decorations that do nothing for our sense of “all is calm, all is bright”.
• Lower your expectations. This is really the one that ties it all together. We could probably get through the whole Silly Season quite easily if we just didn’t take ourselves too seriously. If we went into the holidays with a light heart, and lower expectations, rather than having so much invested in it.Don’t pile on pressure, demands and needs upon the holidays, ditch the desire to insist that everything be just so: the look, the events, the schedule, the gifts….

REMEMBER, we don’t have to do the holidays the way everyone else does them. We don’t have to put the pressure on ourselves and others. We don’t have to live up to those expectations ourselves, either.

Know the Signs and Stages of Holiday Burnout.

The Holiday Honeymoon Phase,

For Americans, Thanksgiving has passed and you’re excited to trade in turkey leftovers for gingerbread houses. You’re feeling the energy, the creativity and inspiration, happy to spend hours putting up the trees, stringing the lights, inflating Santa and his reindeer and making your shopping lists.  Too much of this, not managed right, however, moves you down a step to…

Phase 2 – the Onset of Stress

You start feeling fatigued, anxious and irritable. You start eating less and developing headaches, all while struggling to sleep, even when you do get the chance to. These signs should be a warning to take your foot off the gas and decompress.

But, being the Silly Season, you have serious FOMO and tell yourself you’ll get some rest in a few weeks when the dust settles.

This then pushes you down a further step, into…

Phase 3 – Chronic Stress.

Let me just point out a few of the obvious signs.  Cynical attitude, feeling threatened or pressured and out of control.

You’re drinking too much (coffee and alcohol) and taking drugs (for things like sleeplessness, stress, headaches, and body pains).

You feel resentful towards your boss, your spouse, your kids, party-throwing friends, basically – everyone, especially the frickin’ Elf and his relentless demand for a new vantage point every single night. You start to question your career and life choices.

There is still hope, you can stop the slide, but of course, we sadly live in a society where for the most part it is not considered okay to bail; to take a break; to ask for help or simple say ‘Enough, stop the Crazy Train and Let Me Off!”

So, this then inevitably brings us to…

Phase 4 – Burnout

During the burnout phase everything becomes a chore, nothing sparkles, everything is a trip and choking hazard.  Our bodies are screaming for a break, our minds are dreaming of a holiday alone on a deserted island.

The good news is that if you are pro-active and take care to build up your mental resilience, take a step back and spend time away from the cultural expectations of the season, you’ll make it!

Aim to take time out, recharge, even if it is just a day here and there, then you can maintain phase 1 with its excitement and positive energy.

I say, Happy Silly Season to all – and remember, stay safe and sane.

– Kathleen

P.S. Here’s some fun, free holiday ideas to help you have a memorable, stress free holiday!

LIVE RICHLY. FIND HAPPY.